Okay, I’ve written before about how research for my show Unnatural Spaces convinced me to dramatically reduce the amount of toxins I put in, on, and around my body. This means I’m trying to eat unprocessed foods, use cosmetics with ingredients I understand, and do things like clean my house with baking soda. I am also going through a period where soy and gluten make my body freak out. Some days, I feel I have it all under control – I have more energy, my skin is all glowy, and I’m starting to regain feeling in my hand (told you my body was freaking out!)  Other days, I’m desperately sad, chomping on lentil salad and mineral water and watching my housemates chow down on pizza and delicious-delicious Bulleit. Or, putting on some organic vegan lip balm with moderate shine and colour and then cradling my old Revlon SuperLustres (I can’t bring myself to wear them, but I can’t bring myself to throw them away either!) So, I’ve been eagerly seeking out resources that provide reasonable advice about a plant-based, low-toxin lifestyle. Luckily for me, this spring brings two celebrity publications in this vein: Jessica Alba’s The Honest Life and Gwyneth Paltrow’s It’s All Good. I bought them both, and here’s the deal:

In a personality contest, Jessica wins. Her book is down to earth and generally relatable – until she gets to the clothing section. Celebrities always think that they are giving you budget advice when they say you can find cute options at JCrew. Listen lady, for almost everyone I know, shopping at the JCrew OUTLET is a super-splurge, and even Target is barely hitting the budget. How much do rich people think the average American makes? Or, I guess, maybe the assumption is that the “average American” is too busy worrying about gun violence and mounting debt to be thinking about the fact that they are being poisoned on the daily. This is why my ALL-TIME FAVORITE book on healthy eating/living is The Hood Heath Handbook. It keeps it real, with an analysis of systemic and historic racism to boot. But I digress.

If you’re still pretty new to trying to reduce the amount of toxins (aka poisons) in your everyday life, The Honest Life has a really accessible, no judgement vibe. I like that Jessica Alba acknowledges that some days, you just need to eat “that food” or pull out “that lip stick.” But she offers a lot of resources and friendly advice. If you’re not new to trying all this, The Honest Life isn’t going to give you a lot of new information, but it is a fun read with some helpful tips.

Unlike Jessica’s lifestyle guide, Gwynie’s book is a straight-up cookbook, and be WARNED. There is a reason there are so many people who straight up hate on Gwyneth. Where Jessica Alba grew up working class, so still kind of understands the concept of a budget, Paltrow has been rich all her life and doesn’t even TRY to think about life outside of her magical sphere. And it does seem magical – lots of pictures of pretty people and pretty food on pretty tables, looking wind blown and au natural. I guess this has the same vibe as Martha Stewart Living – mostly aspirational, sometimes ridiculous, and occasionally popping out some genuinely useful project. There are ingredients in the book I have not been able to find anywhere, not even at one of the largest Whole Foods in the country! Where does Gwynie’s assistant shop?! And when she describes popping out into her garden to grab some herbs and vegetables to throw an impromptu dinner together, I gagged. I guess she lives in some pseudo-urban organic paradise but I live in a part of Chicago the city doesn’t give a [bleep] about so even though we invested in turning our backyard into an organic garden last summer, it was quickly overrun with rats, who chowed down on our organic Swiss Chard and then burrowed into the beds, making rat babies. We tried coyote pee to scare them away and then plain old rat poison (which defeats the point of an organic vegetable bed, I KNOW) which they just pushed out of their rat holes, as if to say We’re Chicago Rats, Bitches.

So yeah, some of Paltrow’s advice is WAY WAY far away from my own life, but despite all that, I have to say that all of the recipes I’ve tried from the book are pretty good. First, I made vegan pozole. When I wrote about this on FB, my Mexican friends were pretty skeptical about Patrow coming with the pozole, but honestly, I’m not Mexican and I’ve been a vegetarian since I was a teenager and so the only pozole I’ve ever tried in my life was at Chipotle and this version was better than that! I would eat it again and again, no problem. I also made some roasted cauliflower with vegan alioli and crispy fried capers and it was SO SO SO SO SO good. And super simple. Roast the cauliflowers with oil and salt to taste. Fry some capers in oil until they are crispy (dry them first because they wet things spit when you fry them in oil). And add some minced garlic  and lemon to taste to some mayo (I used vegan but I guess it doesn’t have to be). Put it all together and BAM! Awesome! She has actual measurements in her book, and suggests you add parsley, but I rarely follow those kinds of directions unless I’m baking. Usually, I just look at a recipe and get the general idea. Finally, I made some vegan, gluten-free, soy-free “cookies.” This recipe was accompanied by a story about overnighting them to her manager in London because he was doing a detox diet and craving them, which is the kind of anecdote that doesn’t win her any friends, especially because the cookies are… Okay… they are basically almond butter, maple syrup, and some GF flour mixed together with a few other baking ingredients. I added chocolate chips just cause. And at first, I was like, OH GROSS!!!!! THESE TASTE LIKE CARDBOARD SOAKED IN MAPLE SYRUP. But a day later, I find they are quite good dipped in coffee. They are as hard a rock so a nice alternative to biscotti.

Sigh. As Gwynie’s husband once sang: No one said it would be easy. No one said it would be this hard.

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First, I’m extra-excited to be bringing TOUR GUIDES to the Beverly Arts Center, THIS FRIDAY (April 5), for THREE SHOWS ONLY! I hope those all-caps impart a sense of urgency, because this is my favourite version of the show, so far. Long time friends, fans, and enemies will be familiar with TOUR GUIDES, which is a theatrical love letter to Chicago, created and performed by the poets of the Poetry Performance Incubator at the Guild Complex. This is the FOURTH time we’ve remounted the show, and like the city we write about, the show changes every time we put it up. This time, we’ve swapped in 6 new stories and a brand new cast. (Don’t worry – we’ve kept many of the most popular pieces in the show, including a version of the pizza scene that I find impossible to direct because every time I watch it I laugh so hard I need to pee. TMI?)

Here’s the quick n’ dirty about the show: Tour Guides. April 5 and 6 at 7:30, April 7 at 3:30. Beverly Arts Center. For tickets and information, click here.

AND THEN… on April 25… drumroll please… DOPE opens at Free Street Theater!!!!! DOPE is a play, created by youth 14-19, that tells “420 Stories About Pot, Weed, Kush, Prisons, Parents, and People.” We’ve been working on it since October, and the ensemble is just so funny and smart. I mean, yes, the play has its share of stoner comedy, but it also offers a genuinely complicated look at the political economy around marijuana. Working at Free Street is such a gift… even on my most exhausted days, the youth make me feel really excited and hopeful about the future. That’s for real! For tickets and info, visit our website.

Despite my wariness about V-Day, though, I’m not a 100% hater. I don’t think that a global dance party will end rape, but I do think there is something to be said for responding to violence with joy and love, when you can. Not in the immediate, but in the aftermath. Too often, we talk about rape as the kind of thing that ruins lives, the kind of thing you never get over. And don’t get me wrong -rape changes a life, and not for the better, but it is also possible to heal from sexual violence, to get to a point where it is no longer the every-day-all-the-time-thought, where not every minute is marked with anxiety and terror. It is possible…eventually, with much support and love and help… to feel happy, whole, hopeful. Even after rape. It is not easy. It is not guaranteed. But it is possible.

I’m very open about being a survivor of sexual violence. I am less open about what that meant in my life, how deeply I hated myself, how ashamed and terrified I felt for years after the assaults. And part of the problem was not just that I was scared and hurt. It was that I could not imagine ever being happy again. I imagined myself as broken, as someone who had been robbed of something I could never get back. But eventually, I found a way to crawl out of that hole. I went to therapy. I became an activist. I listened to other survivors. I learned everything I could about systems of violence and how they worked together (sometimes people find this overwhelming, but I found it comforting. It made me understand how little I was at fault for what happened to me, and how much I could do to work for change.) But before all that, I found this poem: “To My Friend, Jerina” by Lucille Clifton. Oh my gosh. I cannot even begin to describe what shifted inside me when I read it, how less-alone I felt.  For years, I have carried Lucille’s lines in my heart, a mantra on the bad days: “but listen,/the girl is rising in me, not willing/to be left to the silent fingers/in the dark…” It was the first time I knew a poem could save a life. I really believe it helped save mine.

So, I’m not at Daley Plaza, busting a move in a flash mob. But I’m not rolling my eyes quite as often as I usually do when someone mentions the Vagina Monologues. Do I think One Billion Rising is really the start of a revolution? No. Do I think it risks being the kind of low-key one-off event that substitutes for deep and sustained grassroots activism? Duh – yeah. But do I think talking about rape matters? Yes. And even more, to talk about it with a kind of hope, a show of solidarity? It won’t change a system, but you never know… It might change a life.

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But I am ready,
too,
to be Thankful for things I have not got,
ready for them to come my way and I swear
(I swear!)
I will sing their praises:
an uninterrupted poop, for example, most humble human function and never,
not these days,
not any more,
private.
There is always someone who needs something at the very moment butt meets can, knocks at the door, questions, misplaced items, a waiting bladder, a child who cannot survive even one more minute without you, I never knew what a gift it was to go to the bathroom alone, to linger even, magazine in hand but now I do.
I would be ready should this blessing come.
I would know to lift a prayer,
an open heart, in gratitude:
Thank You Lord!
Thank You Lord! For This, my Private Poop!

I am ready for other things too:
a night where neighbors do not honk their horns,
where no cat copulates in the alley.
I am ready to face a Sunday with no dirty dishes,
ready for the miracle of jeans that button without lying on the bed.
And I am ready—Oh G-d, I am ready—for under-eye cream that works,
for depuffing magic that lets me believe the clock might slow, even though I know,
I know,
this body is the one I’ve got and it has not failed me,
every breath is a blessing.

You see how I am wise now?
Ready?
How I understand this life—
dented and full,
plagued by constant interruption,
endless to-do lists,
everyday insecurities—
is the one I have and oh,
thank You,
yes,
My G-d,
I know:
it is a good one.

Coya Paz and Jerry from PERRO.mp3 on Vocalo.org 89.5

But this awakening has not brought with it a sense of judgement towards others. From the beginning, the poets and performers working on the project have been adamant that we didn’t want this piece to be “preachy,” that we didn’t want to assume a position that we were experts, that we had answers. Instead, we wanted to ask questions and to complicate, to look at “the environment” from diverse points of view and from a place of human generosity. (In general, this is the guiding principle of my work, to approach from a perspective of “critical generosity” that acknowledges the messiness of human lives.)

We also wanted to be funny. I know, I know… a play about environmental justice created by collective of poets doesn’t scream “must-see comedy of the year!” And Unnatural Spaces definitely isn’t a comedy. But in trying to get to the “honest place” in our conversation about the environment, we’ve found a lot of humour. After all, people are weird, funny creatures, full of contradictions. And believe me, there is comedy gold in asking people to list all the reasons they do things like pee in public pools or wear their flip flops in the shower.

So, yeah… it is two days before opening and I feel so READY to share this piece with the world, to sit next to friends and strangers and find out what kinds of conversations the show opens up. Want to join me?

We run OCTOBER 5-OCTOBER 28.

Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays at 7pm at the Hairpin Arts Center (2800 N. Milwaukee Ave)

Tickets are $15 dollars general admission, $7 for students, and $5 for groups of ten or more (bargain!)

For more information, please visit guildcomplex.org

 
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Amores, I am in immediate need of an understudy for Unnatural Spaces. The ideal person is:

• interested in ensemble/community engaged work
• can learn lines super fast
• won’t be sad coming in and out for the actress they’re understudying
• willing to do this starting, oh, I don’t know, TODAY or Saturday for just a small stipend ($250)

Ideally, this person would be Black, African-American, or mixed, but I am open to other options as well. The part has been written by/for a female, but think it is possible to imagine this character as male. Late-twenties and older preferred.

Here’s our schedule:

I’ll admit. I kicked off the conference with a bad attitude. I didn’t bring my daughter with me (she’s home with my partner), and that sets a VERY high standard for my time: is this worth being away from my child for 6 (!) days? The answer is almost always no, and yet, I am, so I get teary eyed every time I see a child (creepy) and I walk around feeling resentful of something I CHOSE to do. And yet, my crabbiness hasn’t been entirely unwarranted: some of the panels on “applied theatre” (that’s theatre that you “apply” to some social use besides aesthetics) have really alarmed me! Yes, collaborations between universities/colleges and not-for-profits can be really productive, especially when the university has resources to support a project. But, No! Waltzing into “the deep dark city” to create a patronizing “Boal piece” with “underprivileged kids” is not cool, even if it feels like you’re “saving them” from “their dangerous neighborhoods.” I want to hear conversations about sustainability of partnerships, about the very real challenges that differential privilege imposes on collaborations, on the processes of self-education and awareness that new teaching artists must engage in to avoid a missionary attitude towards their work. See how crabby I’ve been? One session made me so mad I walked out midway and went to get a manicure. It honestly seemed a better use of my time!

But there have been bright spots! I’m lucky to be involved with the Latino Focus Group at the conference, and they are (collectively) such a delight. Supportive of each other, invested in mentorship, strategic about building collaborations, and generally warm and funny. I feel kind of cozy and relaxed whenever I go to an LFG session. It’s reassuring to know these people are out there, all year, working in the academy, somewhere. And then… there’s the Hippetyhop!

I helped to organize a session on Hip-Hop Theatre Pedagogy, which was scheduled up against THE ONLY OTHER session on Hip-Hop: a staged reading of SMASH/HIT (a piece still in development). I thought this didn’t bode well for our workshop. After all, how many people “in the academy” really care about Hip-Hop? And given the choice, wouldn’t people who love Hip-Hop choose to go see a piece of performance, rather than sit in on a discussion? But our discussion was really well attended, and full of enthusiastic people. About five minutes into the session, I felt my heart lift in a kind of geeked out giddiness. A room full of people strategizing ways to create space within the institution to let our students be the experts, to let them guide the process of knowledge, to create environments where they are empowered to drive their learning. About how to sneak “Hip-Hop” into the broader curriculum. I put Hip-Hop in quotes because what defines “Hip-Hop theatre” is always contested, but much of what we are FOR SURE talking about is the inclusion of contemporary texts by playwrights/collectives who write about multicultural and often urban experience, who use a variety of forms and represent rhythms and ways of speaking that are often excluded in canonical texts. Whoa. I just got real academic there, but, you know, I do talk that way sometimes…! Usually, even…

I have two more days here and am missing my daughter desperately. But I’m also excited about coming home, and thinking about for real strategies of collaboration in the classroom, and between my institution and “the community.” Oh, hippetyhop! I love you!